


Old Friends and New Adventures

by isalana



Series: Isalana: Dragon Age [2]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Smut, Spoilers, constructive crit welcome, first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:16:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isalana/pseuds/isalana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isalana is an old friend of Fen'Harel's. She's heard he has joined the Inquisition and find him at Skyhold. But this older Fen'Harel is not what she exactly expected. She finds new love and a finds a new story to tell.</p><p>Rated Explicit for future smut.</p><p>Wanting just smut? Well I have something for you. A contents for smut!! Enjoy!</p><p>Chapter 4: Solas (Fen'Harel)/Isalana (OC)<br/>Chapter 7: Cullen/Isalana (OC)</p><p>COMPLETED!!! =(^.^)=</p><p>**first fanfic**constructive criticism welcome**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At Last, After So Long.

I looked upon the castle. These people are the inquisition. This magnificent castle, Skyhold, the home of change.

I picked up my pace towards the gates. I was met by some guards they had the smell of lyrium on them, templars.

“What is your business here?” One of the ex-templars bluntly asked

“Is that how you treat your guests?” I sarcastically stated, “but I am here to see the Fade expert, I have some information that he may find useful.” I looked about I didn’t expect this place to be so heavily guarded.

They looked at each other and the other nodded, “you may pass, we’ll send word to the Inquisitor and the Commander that you have arrived.”

I nodded gracefully, “thank you lads.” They sent a soldier to run up and let the team know. I slowly walked up the bridge that led me into the stairwell that led up to the castle.

I was met by a strong glare from who I can only assume was the Seeker, Cassandra Pentaghast, I nodded and smiled towards her. The Inquisitor came up to me, “hello, I’m Ainsly Trevelyan, I was told you had information about the fade?” I noticed the sword and shield that sat nicely on her body.

“Nice to meet you Inquisitor, yes I do. I wouldn’t mind discussing...” I looked at the stairs that led up into the throne room and walking down was the man I was looking for. Solas he called himself, I chucked when I heard that.

“Fen!!” I called out. He looked directly at me with complete shock. It was spread all over his face. Everyone turned to look at him as if they’ve never seen pure surprise on the man.

I smiled at him, the Inquisitor called out to Solas, “you know this woman?”

He glared at me, “I believe so,” he contained the shock and continued walking down the stairs to greet me.

I chuckled a little, he couldn’t have thought I’d be gone forever never to see his stern face again.

He stood before me, still glaring, “Old friend,” he greeted me plainly, like he forgot my name.

“Solas,” I nodded to greet. “Would you like to take a walk? I have much to discuss with you, it has been too long my friend.”

He agreed, and we walked out of the castle in seclusion.

* * *

 

We slowed at a good distance from the castle.

“I feel you don’t remember me Fen,” concern crossed my face.

“There is only one person who calls me Fen,” he smiled. Though the way his face broke when he smiled seemed like he hadn’t done so in a long time.

“Fen’Harel, what are you doing here? Of all places?” He felt slightly uncomfortable with me using his name. “What’s wrong?” The pit of my stomach began to ache. He’s done something bad. Worse than putting our family into the prison they live in today. He stayed silent and walked a little in front of me. “The Orb?” He stopped suddenly, and looked to his feet. I gasped. “This.. This is the orbs doing?” I felt my heart drop, our family... “Who?” Anger began to consume me, I wanted to kill the one who used our artefact for this.

His shoulders dropped, “the Inquisitions currently looking for him.”

I wrapped my arms around him, “Fen, everything will work out, sure it doesn’t look like it and we will get the Orb back okay? But please let me help, I can use my ability to track him down. Let me feel for him. His anger is strong I might be able to pinpoint it.”

Solas wrapped his arms around me in return, it was nice to feel him again. Something so familiar but I felt the difference. I pulled out and grabbed his face between my hands, “everything will be fine. Sure I can’t tell the future but I can feel it in the pit of stomach, everything will turn out fine. We will work through this together. But you feel so...”

“Stop” he interrupted me. “I can’t lose you to this, I can’t ask you to put your life on the line just to fix my mistake, the only reason you aren’t locked up with our family is because you weren’t what they were.”

I sighed and let go of his face, he was always so caring. We’ve been intimate before, when we were young and wild. People thought it strange, because I was practically his sister but we always shared a different kind of love for each other. At times it was necessary for us to be lovers instead. It was just the way things were.

But it’s been two thousand years and Fen has changed, I can feel it.

He looked at me quizzically, I have been thinking for far too long. He had gained distance between us. He could be so hard to read, even for me. He knew how to hide his emotional state unless it was overwhelming him. And all I could gather from him was that he was worried beyond anything, scared even. The fear of losing everyone who he held dear, I am the last physical being that he cares about. He can’t lose me. I accepted that he denied my help last time. But not this time. This time this is about our family.

They took me in when I had nowhere to go. They gave me a roof over my head and food on the table. I then met Fen’Harel, he just saw me as another Shemlen, the elder members of the family knew better. I remember telling him that I wasn’t shemlen that I wasn’t their kind of human. And my natural abilities confirmed that and my long life.

“Fen, please let me. Remember when you refused to let me help you in the Fade? But then when I finally convinced you and with my ability we were able to travel farther than you’ve ever gone before and actually pin point one event rather than all of them happening at the same time. I was able to help you and I proved I could. I know why you don’t want me to join the Inquisition, your fear and worry is strong and I could feel it from the moment I looked at you.”

He closed his eyes, “remember one time you helped I got so angry with you...” I finished this story for him, “you injured me, I still have the scars Fen, but what did I do when you went wild?” He sighed, “you gave me what you felt and gave yourself what I felt,” I smiled. “Yeah, after you injured me, I prevented you from injuring others.”

“But that can’t happen again.” He was in denial, he is so stubborn.

“Fen’Harel, I am more than capable to take care of myself I wasn’t clinging to your resting place as you slept, I was awake while you slept for a thousand years I hunted, worked, and lived life the way a lonely woman can. Men tried their hand at me, monsters during the blights even. But I have been more than successful to tear their bodies apart,” a sly smile crossed Fen’s face.

“You still have the fight of when we were young?”

“I will always have the fight, not as reckless but the fight excites and takes me back to the times of when you had hair.”

He laughed, I felt the happiness from him. He couldn’t hide it as well as what he wanted to. I felt something in there. I couldn’t quickly identify it because as soon as he released the emotion it was quickly hidden. I stood stunned, “Fen..What was that?”

Cautiously he closed the distance between us, I sniffed by his neck, the closer I am to the blood the more I can sense. There it was... The thing I have been wondering since he had fallen to sleep. His feelings for me were so down deep that I couldn’t have picked it up conventionally. I felt his affection rise as he felt my breath upon his neck.

“Do you have to do that?” He seemed slightly uncomfortable with this kind of intimacy.

“Sorry Fen, I had to check, and you don’t have to hide from me, you can trust me.” He look deep into my eyes, I saw his pain which matched mine, but his guilt overwhelmed his sadness, _my fault, my fault_ , I immediately hugged Fen once again except this time with determination to never let go I wanted his pain to be mine. I wanted to take it away from him. But I knew better than to do that.

He’s always believed I was a spirit in human form. I told him that I am just me, just because I care without a doubt does not make me a spirit if anything it makes me stupid. Too stupid to see when people abuse my ability, maybe my naivety was the problem.

“So what is it you wanted to tell me about the Fade?” Time to get to the point I guess.

I smiled, “nothing, you know everything; I came to help and talk to you specifically. I didn’t realise that I had to have a reason to get in so I made up something that will get me to talk to you.”

He shook his head, “aahh lethallan, what will we tell the others?”

“Tell them what abilities I possess and I am offering to help. Both of us in the Fade will make us very productive. Oh, my name here will be Sage. No last name just Sage.” He nodded.

“What of Fen?”

“What about it?”

“People will be wondering where it’s from.”

I thought for a moment, “I have a story for it, just don’t say anything about it unless I’m asked.”

We walked slowly back towards the fortress.


	2. Hellos and Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone says hello to the newest member of the Inquisition's inner circle. And old memories spark something within Isalana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is coming soon, hopefully in the next few days, it needs a few touch ups!!  
> Thank you for reading!!

It was the start of another day in my new life as Sage. It was a name I’ve liked for a while and I guess Solas liked his little play on words, you know, like Solas meaning pride, whatever made him happy I guess. The inquisitor and the Seeker came to greet me.

The Iron Bull came next, a little flirty, but he laughed and joked about how Solas has a friend, I chuckled a little, it’s odd to see him so isolated.

Sera came over and talked nonsense about ‘elfy-ness’ or something, wouldn’t have a clue.

Dorian came next and asked me about Solas seeming a little too interested in his past, I think he may have suspicions about us.

Lelianna came next to welcome me, she said that there was as much about me as there is about Solas I chuckled and said we were good at keeping low, been practising long enough, she agreed and wanted to interrogate me later. She kind of scared me though.

Cole and I conversed quite well and our similar abilities made it good to have a laugh, he told me that there hasn’t been many times he’s actually felt normal until now, conversing like we were old friends.

Vivienne seemed to avoid me like the plague, saying that anyone who enjoys the company of apostates should be left to rot. I smiled at her and blew her a kiss, in response she rolled her eyes and walked back to her balcony.

Varric asked me about my stories and I told him about the times I spent with the Dalish and wondering the wilderness for most of my life. He told me I should write a book on it or maybe he could. I smiled at the idea, as it’s not a bad one. He asked if I’d be up for a game of wicked grace and of course I said yes. He smiled and decided to plan a night for everyone.

Josephine was more than welcoming, and showed me to my official room, cotton sheets and many pillows it looked so comfortable. She gave me a run down on the Inquisitions position and the kinds of people they bring in. Saying I would be good with negotiations with my abilities, I agreed and she planned to take me to meet a duke of some kind.

Cullen came over and avoided eye contact; I noticed his distracting thoughts as they focus on the negative. I frowned and thought I should offer comfort but decided I should wait until a later date before I become involved with his personal life. He’s struggling so much though. I kind of wanted to hug him and tell him he could get through it.

Blackwall was the last to come up to me, he felt mixed, sad, guilt maybe... I couldn’t quite pin point what was going through his head. But he greeted me gruffly and talked about honour and what not. He claimed to be a warden, but his smell wasn’t right, he didn’t smell of dark spawn, but then I haven’t smelt darkspawn in over 10 years, so I could be wrong.

Finally with time to myself I went to Solas, I had heard quite a few different things that I had to discuss with him. I walked to his office. The murals he had painted made it feel more like home, clues to who we really are. “Hey Fen,” he still cringed at the name, like he never expects it, like every other time it was just a dream. He turned to me, “it’s going to take a while to get used to that.”

I smiled, “I know, but it doesn’t feel right to call you your name, I’m too used to calling you Fen, so we are going to keep that way, and I know you like it. You should feel your emotion when I say it.”

He frowned at me, “you know not to read into me”

“I know but your emotions are too strong for me to ignore, you’ve gotten slack at hiding them from me”

He scrunched up his nose, “I guess”

“Come for another walk? I’m far too fidgety to be standing still.”

I noticed his stare piercing through me, “fine but we can’t just do this every time you want to talk privately; we may cause attention to ourselves in the wrong light.”

“Ha! You’re worried about what the others think? You really have changed since I last saw you. I remember when you didn’t care at all and did as you pleased, even when mother told you off.”

“Yes, that was a younger me, now I’m more about keeping up appearances, can we please just walk so I don’t have to suffer through any more of this nonsense.”

I chuckled, oh lethallin.

 

* * *

 

 

We walked out to Haven in its ruined state. We sat on the cold stones that were not burnt in the attack.

“So I heard you don’t actually have a bedroom? And you like you enjoy isolation a little too much?” I poked at him.

“That is my room, I prefer the comfort of my work. You know I can sleep anywhere. And who thinks that?”

“Everyone, they said you’re not the most social of people and I couldn’t believe it, my Fen not social, age has gotten to you finally,” I joked.

“Oh you’re hilarious, but I have other things on my mind as you know.”

“I know I am, I’m a comedian, but it doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself.”

“You can talk.”

“Hey that was when I was in an unknown place; you brought me out of my shell you know.”

He smiled slightly, “yeah I remember, you were so scared, and I took you out of your room and we went somewhere calming and you for the first time opened up, it was a great achievement on my part.”

“Yeah, I could feel the way you felt, you were curious, you were so open and I could read you immediately, not like now where I have to get so close it makes you uncomfortable,” I look to the ground I hate him hiding himself from me. “You were like how everyone else is, except you were louder, I could hear you more than the others”

I had flashbacks of when everything was as it was. The beautiful Arlathan, and the most beautiful elvhen of the people lived within the walls of the city, and here I was a supposed shemlem living among their pantheon, they thought of me as a god also, a god without ears they’d call me. A representation of compassion and care, of unconditional love and of course the symbol of the shems. It was never right to call me such a horrid name, when I went to the People of this modern time to travel with them, they would abandon me and call me a shemlem and left me to starve in the wild.

I smiled at my memories of old, Fen stared at me, “what are you thinking about?”

“Just memories that popped up about home, you before the Magister raids,” Cole suddenly popped up “ ‘ _the screams they intensify, my people gone, the fires are hot I must find him and let him know, he must know what has happened to us, where is he, why can’t I feel him, has he gone too, my people, I can’t leave my people to burn but what else am I meant to do, die with them, no I must find him’_ it hurts her as it hurts you, she saw everything yet she still loves, she has forgiven where you have not.”

“That’s enough Cole” I told him and he disappeared as quickly as he came.

Fen took a deep breath trying to regain control, but I felt the sadness, the anger and the guilt. He really believes that this is entirely his fault. He is so gentle, so caring and he doesn’t even know it. “Fen... It wasn’t your fault”

He quickly look at me then walked right at me “then whose was it? Huh? Whose fault was it? If it wasn’t mine, if I had not done what I had done it wouldn’t of happened!” He was right in my face and I slapped him across it.

“Get a hold of yourself! How dare you blame yourself for the things that are not your fault! Did you let them in our gates? Did you tell them to attack because we were vulnerable? No. They came in and slaughtered us because we were not ready because we had a traitor in our midst. I should have sensed it. I should have known that something wasn’t right. I should have seen that coming, but I didn’t. And trust me I found the person who let them in and I gave them the most painful of deaths. I made sure of it too.

So I let my emotion control me that day, when I saw our people in chains and burnt to charcoal. I couldn’t help but let my rage rule over me. I could have killed every single one of them. But I didn’t it wasn’t their fault, they were given orders and their guilt would have consumed them over time, for hearing the screams of children that burnt in the blaze. So many innocent people died, but I had to only kill one who was guiltier than the rest. And I did so with no remorse. Thinking back now I still have no remorse for the person. In fact I’m glad I could make them die in such a way.”

I took a deep breath and looked directly into Fen’s eyes, he was shocked that I could lose myself in such a way. It was very unlike me to lose control and act directly upon my emotion. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m only me, I’m not perfect and as you can now see, everyone has their moment.”

It seemed to be his turn to comfort, he grabbed me tight and held me close, “Ir abelas, lethallan”

“ma serannas, vhenan” There it was. The word I forgot to hold, the word that will change his stance and the way he feels. I felt a sudden change in his emotion but he held strong, his arms held me tighter and I felt the rush of emotion that created our previous relationship. Bringing up the memories of our past together. “Fen... I...”

“Shut up.”

I dug myself into his chest, the comfort of my people, we were not the last. During my waking years I have felt the emotions of the waking Elvhen. They woke with confusion and anger. The poor souls. But I have let them live their lives, what would they say if they saw me and recognised me. Would they put me in the same light as the Dread Wolf?

He has held me so long, it couldn’t have been to comfort just me. I think he needed this more than he knew. He would always tell me that my warmth is the most calming feeling. I wonder if he feels that or is at least trying to.

I try to pull out to look at him but he just holds me tighter. “Fen...” I softly spoke.

“What is it Isalana?” It sounded nice to hear him say my name as it’s meant to be said.

I smiled, “let me in... Please.” His shoulders relaxed and I felt everything. Absolutely everything. From the moment he woke up he’s felt a longing, but for what? Family? It must be. He’s worried and scared. Such an old soul these feelings have stuck with him for so long. It seems that he doesn’t know how to feel much else.

“Oh Fen’Harel..” I whispered. I brought the memories forth of us, hanging in the trees and me doing his hair, without a care in the world. I brought the memory forward and shared it with Fen.

He relaxed immediately, “that is one of my most treasured memories, you know. I tend to go back to it and follow it in the fade”

“Do you remember the smell?”

“Yes, it was dewy, and fresh, crisp even”

“And your hair, I can’t believe you had hair”

He laughed, he actually laughed, and it wasn’t something that had a bad thought behind it, it was actual happiness, “oh yes, it was the dreadlocks, you were braiding them, turning me into a beautiful woman if I recall correctly.”

I smiled “mm indeed, in fact I could still probably do that now”

He released me from his embrace and looked at me, his nose touching mine, his lips so close I could feel his breath against my lips. My stomach rolled, the feelings from a very long time ago became as strong as ever. I forced myself to not share these feelings with Solas.

He wrapped his arms loosely on my waist and pulled me into him. My back arched, tempted to pull into him for a kiss. To feel the emotion we both crave. “It’s been a millennium, and I may need a bit of practise.” I made a surprised face, “the man I know couldn’t go a week without let alone 1000 years” he smiled and brought me in closer, “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

He placed his lips against mine, and there it was, the rush.

He quickly pulled away, his emotions hid behind the fog before I could catch on. I felt nothing.

“Fen’Harel?”

He let me go and walked briskly away, leaving me red. This feeling I had quickly turned to anger and slight embarrassment, “don’t you dare! Fen’Harel!” I roared at him

But he continued to walk away.

“Fuck.” I cursed and made my own way back to Skyhold.


	3. Parties and Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas confronts Isalana about what happened. And Cullen surprises Isalana with a night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get prepared for Chapter 4. It's on its way and there may or may not be some sexy times.

“Sage,” I heard a friendly voice all out to me. I spun myself around to face the person who called to me and was delighted to know that it was the Commander.

“Cullen! What a surprise. I wasn’t expecting you around,” I smiled towards him. I liked the way his blue eyes moved to the ground containing his shyness every time I smiled directly at him. I believe that he has premature feelings for me.

“I just... I was just wondering if you had any free time tonight?” He took a quiet deep breath.

“Of course, I don’t do much these nights anyways, what did you have in mind?”

“Well they are bringing a band into the tavern, drums and everything and I thought you might like to go for a drink.”

“Is this a date Commander?”

“Uh, well...” His face turned a light shade of red.

I laughed, “it’s okay, yeah I’m definitely in.” A big smile crossed his face, “pick me up by my door and we’ll go in together.”

“Yes, definitely.” He started backing towards the door, his emotion pounding into my head so loud and bright, I thought I’d suffer from a migraine if I felt much more, “tonight then?”

I rolled my eyes, he’s so awkward, “yes Cullen tonight, see you later.”

He closed my door behind him.

I sighed. I felt a slight pang at the bottom of my stomach. _Who is that?_ I thought. Then I heard a couple of soft knocks at my door. I tried harder to feel who it was, but I couldn’t which only meant it was one person, mister Solas himself. I walked up to my door and opened it.

“Oh Solas, I didn’t expect you.”

“Can I come in?”

I let out a breath, “yes, come in of course.”

I opened the door and let him come through, I forgot all I was wearing was my under clothes with a gown over the top. Solas noticed and blushed a little, “you and Cullen?” he assumed.

“No, not like that,” I told him, _well not yet_. “What is it that you want?” To be completely honest it’s been a week and a half since our incident and I’m still pretty upset about it.

Solas had a slight bit of shame coming from him, with a tinge of fear. “Look, I’m sorry for what happened the other week, I shouldn’t have acted upon what we were feeling, I should have had more control than that. I want to keep our relationship strong just not in that way.”

“So you want to keep things.. Platonic between us?”

“Yes, I can’t put myself in something serious.”

I nodded, “I understand, well since you’re technically my brother, can you help me pick something for tonight?”

He cringed, “are you being serious?”

“No,” I chuckled, “I most certainly am not, I mean have you seen what you wear?”

“I think I look fine.”

“Of course you do.” Solas glared at me.

“I’m leaving, if you want anything, I will be where I always am.”

“Are you going to the band playing tonight?” Solas just looked at me, as if to say _me? Going to a band, this is me you’re talking about_ , “so no then?”

“No I am very busy.”

I smiled, “sure, have fun with that.”

 

* * *

 

I sat on my bed waiting for the knock. The knock that means that the Commander is there waiting for me to open my door. I flattened out my coat that sat on my waist and my pants that complimented my legs. I will admit I did put a lot of effort in choosing an outfit. Probably too much.

I brought my thoughts back to somewhere in the Storm Age. When I was in a similar situation, waiting for a man to take me out, I believe his name was Samwell, we went out and danced in a city somewhere in Orlais. It was the most amazing time, until he was assassinated as a way to get to me. The game was so serious, always has been I guess.

I heard a hard knock on my bedroom door, “coming!” I yell out. I quickly do up my boots and walked to the door. I swung it open and saw Cullen all tidy.

“Oh hey,” I greeted Cullen, he brought me a Crystal Grace.

“Hi, I brought this for you, thought you might like it,” he presented it to me.

I gasped, “you shouldn’t have! I know how hard these are to get, but they are absolutely magnificent, thank you so much.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek and placed the flower on my bed.

I turned to see him and his cheeks were as red as I’ve ever seen. “Come let’s go see this band, everyone has been raving about.”

We walk together out, of the hallway and he sticks out his elbow mentioning me to hold on to it. And like a lady, I grab on to him and he leads me away.

We walk for a few minutes and then I realised that we weren’t going to the tavern. “Cullen, I believe we are going the wrong way?”

He chuckled a little, his confidence has risen. “Very good observation skills,” sarcastic little shit.

I smiled and rolled my eyes, of course, the kiss made him cocky, but surely he has experienced more than that. “Then where are we going if not the tavern?”

He smiled at me, butterflies formed in my stomach. _What the fuck body?!_ I thought.

“The gardens, you should see it on a night like this and with the music playing so loud we’ll be able to hear it from there.”

I rose my eyebrow at him, sure it’s been a long time since I’ve been to a band but surely they wouldn’t be loud enough to be able to hear them at the gardens.

We enter the gardens and walk to a long bench in the middle of a stone arch. Some of the flowers seemed to glow in the moonlight.

“Wow, this... This is amazing. How did I not think to come at night?” I let go of Cullen and walk around the garden like I’m in some dream.

“Not many people think to really, sure it’s a sight to see during the day but the night flowers are brilliant, and with the full moon, they are at their most amazing state.”

I didn’t know Cullen could be so genuine, so aesthetically driven. He comes up behind me, “can you hear the music?” I listened out and could softly hear the music pouring out of the tavern. I quickly turned around only to bump into Cullen.

“Shit, I’m sorry, but yes I can hear it.”

“Do you want to join the people drowning in ale? Or would you rather sit here and talk?”

“Let’s stay here.”

He walks away from me and sits on the bench. He looks to me, asking if I’d sit by him with his stare. Of course I followed him. I felt a massive pang in my stomach. It was almost crippling. I fell to the ground. “Sage!” I heard Cullen run up to me and pick me up and sit me on the bench.

“I’m fine,” I finally get out.

“What’s wrong?”

How could I tell Cullen that his pain, the pain of his past and the pain of his addiction is so strong it hurts? I take deep breaths, and for once I’m the one who has to fog his emotions.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a side effect of my abilities at times.”

Cullen looked at me in shock, “so you get this often?”

I shook my head, “no not often, but when someone feels something painful and depending on the strength of that pain, it’s able to cause a physical reaction.” I looked directly at him. I never liked taking on other peoples pain, but sometimes I think it’s needed.

He looked away from me, “it’s me isn’t it?”

“Not only you, there are a lot of broken people here.”

“They’re drunk.”

“Not all,” I thought of Fen. His pain was hidden but it still lingers and that’s something he can’t hide from me.

I touch Cullen’s shoulder, reminding him that everything is okay. I grabbed my favourite memory and the emotion I felt from it. A memory from the Ancient Age, when Mythal took me in and I realised that everything will be okay. I shared with Cullen the feeling of safety and the feeling of home.

I softly moved my hand down his arm and hold on to his hand as I pass the emotions on to him. I swap part of my happiness for his pain. And things begin to soften. I watched him close his eyes and relax.

“You okay?” I ask him.

He smiles slightly, “yeah I will be.” I let go of his hand.

“Come, let’s get some sleep before tomorrow.” I stood up before he did. He agreed and followed me to my room and left me with my thoughts.

 

* * *

 

“Josephine!” I called out as I noticed she was waiting for me.

“Sage, you’re late! This isn’t a good look.” I sighed at Josephine’s complaint.

“Come on it’s fine, they aren’t phased.”

It was her turn to sigh, “I’m not going to get used to this.”

I smile as we walk into the room with a small table and a couple of chairs.

“Duke Pierre de Castae I introduce to you my associate Sage.”

“Nice to meet you your grace,” I walked confidently over and sat opposite the Duke.

He looked at me curiously, “I had not known that there would be someone joining us. If I had known I would have brought another with me.”

Josephine sat next to me and placed her notepad on the table along with her quill and ink. I looked upon it and noticed that her handwriting was absolutely immaculate. “Do you normally write like that?” I pointed out.

The Duke then also looked over, Josephine gave me a look. “Yes, I do indeed but would the Duke like to get to business?”

The Duke looked at Josephine, “yes, let’s get down to business. So you would like me to spread the word of the inquisition?”

“Basically yes,” said Josephine, “though any financial help would be greatly appreciated, and I’m sure the Herald of Andraste will be pleased.”

The Duke nodded and looked to me, “what do you think?”

I was surprised that he asked me, “the inquisition has cause,” I pushed generosity onto the Duke, his intentions were just but he needed that extra push, “they are trying to fix a world in chaos, but they aren’t able to do that without the generosity of others.”

“Nicely put,” Josephine agreed with me.

“Yes, indeed. Well, how about I give the Inquisition financial help? Would this be enough to sustain you for a while?” The Duke started writing up a cheque like piece of paper and handed it over to Josephine.

“Oh yes, thank you my grace, we will make sure this is put to good use.”

“Good, now I will take my leave, Misere Sage, Lady Montilyet.”

The Duke left the table leaving Josephine and I to ourselves. “That almost seemed too easy,” Josephine commented.

I smiled, “he was feeling generous, had to give him that extra push.”

“With what you said?” She looked at me curiously.

“Nah, but close enough.” Josephine didn’t seem to like that answer but she accepted it nonetheless. “So will you bring me to the next one? Maybe someone who is a bit of a challenge to bring their support to the inquisition?”

Josephine chuckled, “sure, I will arrange something.” I laughed a little. Sure this isn’t really what I was thinking when it comes to helping but these small things matter. Every bit of support will help.

“I heard on the grapevine that Cullen has developed a little crush on you Sage.”

I felt a slight excitement coming off Josephine, the latest gossip and she hears it first. Might as well please the ears that hear, “well, we went to the gardens for a bit a few nights ago, while the band was playing but we just sat around and had a little chat.”

“Gosh, that’s disappointing, I was hoping for something scandalous.”

“Oh nothing like that at all.” I heard a knock at the door, it swung open, “speak of the devil himself!”

Cullen standing at the door, “may I steal Miss Sage from you Josephine?” Josephine literally pushed me out of the chair and shoved me towards Cullen.

“All yours Commander,” I looked at Josephine as Cullen showed me out, _tell me everything_ she mouthed. I rolled my eyes and followed the Commander.

He took me to his office. “I was told to give you this,” he handed me a letter with an odd seal on it. A seal I haven’t seen in a millennium.

“Oh... Uh, thank you Cullen, who gave it to you?”

“Solas did.” I frowned at his answer, Solas? Why would he want to give me a letter. I opened it in front of Cullen.

Written in Elven was;

_Hello my child,_

_You might not have been expecting a letter from me, but I have heard you have joined the Inquisition. I cannot advise you against it, because their cause is true enough. But be weary of Fen’Harel. I believe he has ulterior motives. Just watch him and don’t let him be led astray. For I think fear will ruin him._

_Love always,_

_Your mother, Mythal._

I quickly scrunched up the letter and put it into the fire.

“What did it say?” I looked at Cullen as he asked.

“Well it wasn’t from Solas. It was from a relative of mine.” I frowned why would mother want me to look out for Fen, it was normally the other way around, though I think he hasn’t been right since he woke up. “I’m sorry Cullen but I have to go. I will see you around.” I turned around and walked out of his office and towards where Fen’Harel spent most of his time.


	4. Dreams Tend To Disappoint.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We got a little bit of Solas(Fen'Harel)/Isalana smut going on in this Chapter. Isalana is starting to show that she like Cullen a little more than intended.

***********************************************

_‘Da’len!’ I heard the yell of Father._

_I look around, everything is black. It was like an endless void that enclosed me. There was only one light. So I fell towards it with all my might. I swam and plunged. It didn’t matter how fast I went it always felt the same distance away. But I still went for it hoping to catch up to it soon enough._

_I plunged deeper than I had previously and ended up catching the light. In fact I swam right through it and to a surface, a slick, slippery surface that covered my exit. I looked around at my surroundings and was greeted by a massive storm, but it felt dark. Unlike ordinary storms in which it has no control over itself, this one had control._

_I climbed out of the water as best as I could on the rocks. I look at my surroundings and I notice Fen’Harel standing by the shore. “Fen!” I yell out to him. He looks at me and laughs, “hurry Isalana, they are waiting for us.” I ran towards him. He caught me in his arms and held me close. “Ah vhenan, what will mother say when she finds out about us?” I frowned at Fen’Harel, “when have you ever cared about what mother thinks?” Something didn’t feel right about this, “you’re right, I don’t care.” We laughed together._

_We held hands and he led me off into the forest. We came to a cave. I smiled. This was our cave. No one could find us here. People would often mention that we are cursed forever living a lie, forever living in fear. But here we were two people who loved each other beyond anything. This place was a place of truth and trust. He sat me down by the fire that we started._

_“Isalana,” he whispered by my ear. “Fen’Harel,” I whispered back. He came up behind me and started to grope my breasts, lightly nipping at my neck. I sigh at his touch. He unties the ties that hold my gown together and it just falls from my body. He spun me around and laid me down. He admired my body, ran his finger across my hardened nipple and around the darker circles that sat on my breasts. He traces my ribs and down to my belly button._

_I moan as he kisses my thighs. “Take it off,” I tell him, he chuckles, “ah vhenan, patience.”_

_“I don’t understand yo... Aaahh,” He nibbled at my clit, I wanted to ride his face. I grab at his dreadlocks and push his face harder into me. He waved his hand and soon enough my hands were locked up by my head. He ripped off his shirt, he released one of my hands as I touched down his body, tracing his collarbone and down to his waist band, pulling at it, gesturing him to take it off. I noticed his bulge I grabbed it with my free hand and as soon as I rubbed it he pinned my hand back down. He used his magic to remove his pants to reveal his pulsing dick. He rubbed it against me, teasing my wet. It stuck to him, embarrassing but I couldn’t say a word. I just needed him inside of me and quickly or I will go insane._

_“Fen’Harel, please,” I begged. He smirked, and pressed his knob into me, I gasped at his width._

_“Tell me what you want.”_

_“Fuck me.”_

_“What?”_

_“FUCK ME FEN’HAREL!” I roared at him, getting sick of his shit. He pushed his entire length into me in one quick motion, I moaned loud and pushed my hips up against him. He gasped and moaned as he slowly slid inside of me. He was rubbing in all the right places making me squirm and moan._

_Grabbing one of my legs, he lifted it up onto his shoulder and leaned into me. My knee touching my shoulder he began to slide faster and harder. Deeper, I wanted him deeper, I mention my other leg to go over his other shoulder. “Vhenan,” he breathlessly moaned, “if we do that, I’ll explode.”_

_He grabbed my other leg anyways and began to fuck me harder as I wished, my breasts bouncing with every pound. He grabs and pulls at them, getting faster I can feel myself getting closer. I put my legs down off his shoulder and flip him over so he’s the one on the floor and I’m the one on top._

_I begin to ride him, hard making me lose control over my body, faster and faster I ride him. “You’re tightening!” Fen’Harel exclaimed. His moans become loud with mine, sweat dripping from our bodies. He held me down and as soon as that happened an orgasm rushes over me, making me fall onto Fen’Harel. He grunts as he tries to continue to fuck me, making him finally come to an orgasm, “Isalana!!!” He yells my name as he fills me with his cum. We both lay in a sweat heap on the cold rocks._

_“Oh Isalana, emma lath.” I nuzzled into Fen’Harel’s neck. “Emma lath.”_

_This doesn’t feel right. I look around, “what is it ma vhenan?”_

_“I don’t know, something doesn’t quite feel right,” I look around, things began to distort. “No!!” I yell out into the distorting image._

_********************************_

I woke up abruptly, feeling the wet between my legs from last night’s dream, it wasn’t the nicest things to wake up to. The dream could have been considered good, but for me it was more of a nightmare. A haunting memory of easier times, I look around just to make sure I’m in Skyhold not back home. I was indeed in Skyhold. I felt a burst of anger when the thought that Solas could be behind the dream passed through my head.

I quickly got out of bed and put on suitable wear. It was just dawn, I stormed into his study. He was also up. I felt the guilt coming from him and the lust from last night.

“How could you?!” I stormed at him. He was shocked to see me so angry.

“I thought you wanted to leave us as friends? Nothing more remember? And then you do that.” I was furious that he could mess with me like that.

“Hush, others are sleeping, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t you deny that what happened last night was your doing?”

He frowned at me, “I...”

“Don’t you dare lie to me, I can smell it on you.”

He looked down in defeat, “yes I did, I triggered the memory and followed it, but I don’t think that is how it went exactly.”

I sighed, “Solas, we can’t. You said so yourself.”

The dream appeared in my head, he is right it wasn’t exact. The way we made love, it was different than the time we did, because that memory was the first time we ever had sex. We were very unsure and weary of each other, but this was confidence and knowing exactly how to get to each other.

“Isalana,” he whispered, “I’m sorry about the Fade but I just had to one last time.”

I shook my head at Solas, “this was your decision. Remember that.” I walked off so he can think on his actions. I’m not falling for him again. Yes when we were young things were different, we had fun and if things were the same, we still would be. But he is almost a completely different man. Sure I’m not the same woman, it’s what a couple thousand years does, and it changes you. It changed me for the better. I’m just not willing to put up with his shit any more.

 

* * *

 

Solas avoided me for a while longer; it makes it easier on both of us to be not see each other.

Which during that period I had made many trips with Josephine to see influential and wealthy people to help bring support to the Inquisition.

And as I was doing my small amount of work, the Inquisitor was doing her major part in all this. She had gotten the Wardens on their side. So Wardens and mages, this is an interesting army that she is putting together. Next was the ball at Halamshiral. I remember that place well during the Exalted Marches when Orlais conquered the Dales, it was a beautiful tower resembling what was left of our people. But then they come and conquered all because of some Dalish that refused to help with the Blight. I wanted to go to the ball, look upon the amazing city one more time.

I asked Josephine what I could do to gain an invitation, and Josephine said that each invitation has a plus 1 and suggested I should ask Cullen to take me.

Later that day I bumped into Cullen and he took me somewhere more private, “Sage, Josephine told me that you wanted to go to the ball,” _ah for the maker’s sake Josephine_ , she really must want us together.

“Oh she told you that?”

“Uh yes, so I was wondering if you’d want to go with me?”

I smiled at Cullen, “of course I would Cullen.” I grabbed his hand and he leaned in a little, maybe expecting something. But I pulled away and let go of his hand. _Can’t rush these things_.

“Oh... ah sorry Sage,” Cullen felt really embarrassed at my refusal to lean in with him, but I didn’t need to feel it, it was written all over his face. He started to run away, I grabbed his hand. “Don’t go, walk with me.” He squeezed my hand and I released it.

We walked towards his work place, and once we got there he sat behind his desk as I sat on it. “Cullen, you know that I have felt the things you feel? And over the last month, things have been getting increasingly worse and I’m becoming worried about you.”

It was time to confront Cullen and find out what really is going on. I heard a sigh coming from him. He reached from under his desk and showed me his lyrium box, opened it up and inside was a fresh batch of lyrium and the tools needed to take the substance. I looked directly into his blue eyes, he was staring at me looking for a reaction.

“You’ve stopped haven’t you?”

“Yes, it is what making my pain worse, I guess it helped me forget, but now things are coming back and it gets harder to deal with.” I move closer to Cullen and lean in to hug him. He then pulls away from me, not accepting the hug I’m willing to give.

“Cullen...”

“Don’t. I don’t need your sympathies.” He faced his window and looked out upon the land.

“No you don’t, but you need someone to support you and I want to be the person who you can lean on in your troubles.”

He looked back at me, I grabbed his lyrium box and closed it. “I’m taking this with me and hiding it. We are going to get you through this, you can do this.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But I want to. I want to help you. Because believe or not I like you a lot.” _Maybe more than what would be appropriate_.

“Thank you Sage,” for once the name I have given myself did not sound as nice as what I thought. It was fake to my ears. I wanted to tell him, _hey look, my name isn’t Sage, it’s Isalana, call me that from now on, it would sound better with your voice anyways_ , but no it’s Sage. With him it will always be Sage.

Is it wrong of me to think of Cullen in such a way, I mean it has never stopped me before and seeing him makes me so happy. I tend to forget my problems and my past. And the least I can do in return is help him.

“I’ve noticed you don’t talk about your past,” Cullen stated. Well speak of the devil, it wasn’t like I hid the fact that I don’t talk about my past. I just hate to lie and I can’t tell anyone about myself, it’s not like I don’t want anyone to know. I want everyone to know. But the more people know the more dangerous it is, and he probably wouldn’t believe me anyways.

“Yeah, it wasn’t the greatest time for me,” it wasn’t really a lie, so many terrible things happened during my life. So maybe ‘wasn’t the greatest’ is an understatement.

“You know if it ever gets to you, I’m all ears.”

“Thank you Cullen, maybe one day I will tell you my full story,” I smiled at him, even after being around each other most of the time he would still lightly blush and look to the ground.

It always made my day just a little bit brighter and ends up putting butterflies into my stomach. He should really stop being so adorable.


	5. Nightmares and Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isalana experiences Cullens nightmares for the first time. She and Solas have a short discussion in the Fade.

I sat by my bed, thinking over the letter mother sent me. _Watch over him, why?_ I thought. I know Fen had done things he thought was right at the time but just made a bigger mess. Mother was right about his fear. He will let it control him. Or maybe it’s not fear, he might believe it’s his duty to make things right.

I sighed at the thought of him making this a bigger mess than what it originally is. It seems he has a habit for it. It’s been weeks since I’ve talked to him properly. I have to put it on my to do list. I’m kind of hoping he will forget I’m around and reveal himself. Not hide his emotions from me. It’s a hopeful thought but I was very doubtful that he would forget.

A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts. I hopped up to get it but was in fact met with a wonderful face, “Cole,” I was happy to see him.

“‘ _That name, he can’t say that name, he won’t say that name’,_ ” He looked at me, “he would understand you know? He likes to be trusted.”

I sighed, “I know Cole, but my pain cannot add to his.” Cole nodded in agreement.

“Solas he is in pain, he won’t show me his pain, but I see it.”

I frowned, “His pain is more than one would expect, he believes it can’t be healed so there is no point in fixing it.”

“No, he doesn’t want it fixed, it helps him remember.” I put my arm over Cole’s shoulders.

“You didn’t come here to talk about Solas or Cullen did you?”

Cole shook his head and thought for a moment, “I don’t want to be bound like the others.”

The events at Adamant really rattled the poor boy. “Have you discussed this with Solas?”

“Yes, he won’t do anything, he said there was an amulet, I need to find it.”

“The Inquisitor is involved yes?”

“Yes.”

“Then she will find it Cole, you don’t have to worry about it okay.”

“I can’t hurt anyone.”

“You won’t Cole, there is more to you than you know. You are odd for a spirit but you are you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Thank you. _‘she sit on the window waiting, “when will he be home? What is he doing?” She looks and sees him running towards the castle, grabs her and takes her away, she is crying and screaming, why would he do that.’”_ Cole looks at me, “why don’t you help Solas’ pain? I think you could.”

How could I help his pain when all he wants to do is avoid me, a sharp pain occurred in my heart. Wide eyed, I ran. Cole vanished and went his own way.

I ran to find the pain, worried beyond belief. _Who is this?_ I run following the feeling intensifying as I got closer. I came to a bedroom complex in the castle. I burst through the top floor bedroom, only to find Cullen tossing in bed.

I walked up to him, the pain is almost unbearable. He was sweating. I noticed his chest and abdomen, perfectly sculpted. He had worry lines upon his face, I wanted to wash them away with a stroke of my finger.

He began to grunt and moan, “Cullen?” He tossed at my voice.

I shake him to wake him up, “Cullen.” I whispered. He suddenly sat up eyes open and grabbed me. I gasped at the surprise. I held my hands up to his face and held it. “Cullen,” I spoke softly, trying to sound lovingly.

He blinked a few times, adjusting to what he is seeing, “it’s not real Cullen, it’s me Is—Sage,” I stumbled over my name, it was close.

He quickly hugged me, tight. He didn’t want to let go. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I...”

“Hush now, are you okay?” I hugged him back, the pain began to dull. His body is hot, so comfortable I could sleep against it. I rest my head on his shoulder.

He relaxes on my touch, “yes, it was just a nightmare.”

We sat there for minutes in silence, just helping him recover from his nightmare.

“Would it be inappropriate to ask you to stay the night?” Cullen asked.

“I’ll stay.”

He sighed in relief at my answer and released me. I climbed over him to the other side of the bed. His back faced me and I began to rub down it. An automatic reaction to relieve stress from someone I care about it.

I traced the line down his back to the waist line, then back up. And then tracing along his shoulder blades and down his neck. He moans in appreciation. I have the urge to kiss down his back but pushed that urge elsewhere. I rub my hand down his side, the sweat has disappeared from his body, leaving the soft skin.

I was at first surprised how soft it is, the scars that ran along his body were also soft, not hardened like the scars I had received over my life. If he saw my body would he be inclined to ask about my scars, what they all are? Where they came from? I wonder if he would try to pry into my past.

I stop and roll over with my back facing him. He rolls over on to his side facing me and I can hear the snores coming from him. I roll back over just to look at him.

I study his face in detail, his chiselled jaw, the way his lips are parted, his frown that he’s pulling, the way his hair is messed around his face, the stubble that has really only shown today.

He pushed the blanket off him showing his practically hairless abdomen. I wanted to caress his chest following the muscles that shaped his body. Run my finger across his collar bone. Tempted to follow through with my desire, I rolled over and fell swiftly to sleep.

* * *

 

I walk slowly towards the throne room of Skyhold, feeling, hoping to just catch the scent of Solas. Seeing what he feels. I walked up the steps at an incredibly slow pace, truly taking my time. I get to where Varric normally spends his day and stand by the door.

“Hey Peach, Chuckles hasn’t left that room for days, thought to let you know.” I never understood Varric and his nicknames, but considering mine wasn’t as bad as Solas’ I could deal with it.

“Thanks Varric,” I sighed.

I opened the door hesitantly, “leave me.” Solas seemed to be very sociable today.

“Fen... Please, can we talk?” He turned towards me.

“Isalana?” He was surprised to see me, and he had forgotten that I had changed my name.

I ignored it didn’t want anyone listening to notice anything suspicious. “Can we talk?”

“Yes, did you want to do it elsewhere?”

“Yeah, do you want to sleep?” I suggested, thinking the Fade is really the only place we can talk about things openly. And it will also reflect what we are feeling.

He passed me a serum to put me to sleep. “Meet you on the other side Solas.” He nodded and I walked to my quarters, flopped on my bed and fell right to sleep.

***

_I observed my surrounding. We are home. I started walking around looking for Fen’Harel._

_I found him standing on a branch, he looked the same, and I guess he didn’t want his old appearance. I look down at myself and noticed that my skin was as white as it’s been for a millennium. My clothes were white with gold trimmings; the sleeves went right past my hands, my hem crumbled at my feet. My brown hair was long and braided._

_“Fen’Harel!” I called out to him, he looked to me. Smiled softly then continued to look out upon the land. I climbed up to him, I looked at his view and saw Arlathan from a distance, the crystal towers winding through the trees and rose right into the clouds._

_He turned to me, “home was beautiful wasn’t it,” sadness ran over him, the guilt of his betrayal._

_“It was, but we can’t dwell on the past as much as we do. Yes we want things back to the way it was, and you know one day it might be so. But looking at this I miss it, but it’s no longer our life.” He studied me as I spoke, taking in my words. I’m trying to get him to move on from our past life. “We can still help the People Fen’Harel. But we can do it through means of bringing the clans together and creating a city worthy of our people.”_

_“We can’t bring the clans together, a no ear and Fen’Harel trying to bring the clans together what a laugh,” I grew angry, I was furiously offended._

_“A no ear?!” How dare he call me a no ear, that’s worst than being called a shemlem._

_“Look I didn’t mean it like that, I..”_

_“No, don’t even try to explain yourself. You just called me a no ear. Ha. Well thanks Fen’Harel for that.” I jumped from the branch and walk away from him._

_“Isalana! Please.” I looked up at Fen’Harel. He is a complete... GAH._

_I stopped and felt an immediate sense of anger. I look again to Fen’Harel. “Do you feel that?”_

_He joined me on the ground, “feel what?”_

_I feel the ground, trying to pinpoint the anger. “There.” I point west. I take us to the place in which I sense it. Halamshiral. I frowned, why?_

_“Why are we here?”_

_“I don’t know, it’s where I felt something. Anger. Something won’t be right.”_

_“Well there is someone trying to kill the Empress.”_

_I close my eyes and focus as hard as I could, “they hate the Empress, actually not quite, it’s jealousy. But something more. Motivation to do so. There is something missing.”_

_I scan around finding trying to find something that I’m missing._

_“Can you find out who will kill her?” Fen’Harel asked._

_“I’m trying but something is missing and I don’t know what.”_

_A huge emotion swept into me causing me so much pain, I crumpled to the floor and I heard a voice, “we have prepared for you Isalana,” I gasped, this voice knows me, knows my name. The pain finally left me and I opened my eyes to see a worried Fen’Harel staring at me in shock. I frowned._

_“They know me. They have blocked me out.”_

_“What do you mean?” He was feeling increasingly worried._

_“I heard a voice they knew my name, and I can’t feel anything anymore.”_

_“I need to get rid of the blockage.”_

_“How do you plan to do that?”_

_“I’ll figure something out. But please think on what I said. I think we can push the Dalish together to create something new, not just an imitation of home but something more real than that. Oh and I’m still annoyed that you called me a ‘no ear’.” Fen’Harel smiled at me softly._

_“Lethallan.”_

_***_

I awoke abruptly, that’s what I hated about that damn serum. Sure it put you to sleep but it wakes you up just as fast.

I sit on the end of my bed thinking about that voice.

I stood up from my bed and decided to take a walk to the tavern and have a few drinks.

* * *

 

I sat at the bar waiting to be served my pint of ale. “Hey Sage,” Bull came up and sat by me, “rough day?”

“Just a little, need to get my mind off things.”

Bull nodded in agreement, “yeah I know what you mean, I have my way to forget,” I notice him look back and look at Dorian. Dorian winked at Bull.

I smiled, “I’m happy for you two.”

“Yeah thanks, but here let me buy you a round.”

I chuckled, “that would be brilliant.”

* * *

 

The next morning I woke up with the biggest headache, I looked over my body with marks left all over my body, no bruises but... HICKEYS!! I jumped out of bed and looked around, no one to be seen. I cursed myself out loud. _What the fuck happened last night?_

I covered myself up and walk out of my quarters. Luckily there weren’t any on my neck which was surprising. I walk to the tavern and find Bull.

“Aaayyyy look who is coming back for more, I’m surprised you’ve recovered.”

“What happened last night Bull? Just tell me before I find out really horribly.” I sat down and held my head.

“Well you were trying to keep up with me, and I told you it was a bad idea, but you were doing pretty good considering how small you are. Then Cullen came into the tavern, specifically looking for you.”

“Ah shit.”

“Yeah, you ran up to him and gave him a ripe old kiss on the mouth. HA! You should have seen his face, gone completely red.” I grimaced at the image, poor Cullen. “Then he thought it would be a good idea to take to bed, obviously I agreed but you put up a bit of a fight, and it took multiple men to carry you out of the tavern. I don’t know how you got that strength to fight them all off drunk no less!!” Bull laughed. So they weren’t hickeys they are actually bruises.

I sighed, “goddamn, I don’t ever want to drink again.”

Bull pat me on the back, “it’s what we all say.”


	6. Halamshiral

I avoided Cullen like the plague most of the day. Not wanting to face the embarrassment I had put myself under. _Kissed him right on the lips_ , what Bull said has been haunting me all day. It’s not bad that I kissed him but it’s bad that I kissed him. Being a nervous wreck about it doesn’t really help the fact that it happened and I am just delaying the inevitable.

By the end of the day I was able to gather up enough courage and went to confront Cullen about what happened the night before.

I knocked on his door.

“Uh, hold on!” I heard him say behind the door, I heard a few swishes and then footsteps coming up to the door. With a click it was unlocked and open. I felt something weird on him. Something I haven’t really felt on him... Wait, lust? I feel lust coming from him. Oh Maker.

“Oh Sage,” he cleared his throat, “please come in.”

I took a deep breath, this is going to be hard to not let him know that I know exactly what he was up to. But then again best not poke at the hornets’ nest. “Hey Cullen,” I stepped inside of his study. “Uh there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

His cheeks flashed immediately red, “um about last night right?”

I nodded, “yeah, Bull told me I got a bit out of control.”

He looked up at me, “you don’t remember what happened?”

“Nope, not really. All I know is that I started drinking, competed against Bull and I was gone. But he told me of one thing, I wanted to talk to you about. And I’m sure you know.”

Cullen cleared his throat out of nervousness, “uh, about the, uh, kiss right?”

I smiled, “yeah, the kiss. I’m sorry that I forced that on you, it wasn’t right of me.”

Cullen shrugged his shoulders, lust began to rise in him again, “yeah, well it’s okay. I don’t mind, I mean didn’t mind, when you, you know, did that.”

“I know, but if it were up to me, that’s not how it should have gone, so really I’m apologising for my behaviour.” Maker, he better leave it at that and not try anything.

“I forgive you, yes I do agree that it should have happened a little differently. And like I guess it doesn’t really count as a first kiss, considering you know, drunkenness and all that.”

I chuckled, “yeah pretty much. Anyways Cullen I will let you get back to doing what you were, sorry I disturbed.” His face went as red a tomato.

“Uh, thank you for stopping by, and, uh, apologising, and such.”

I laughed, “see you around.”

I walked out the door and he closed it behind me only to lock it immediately. I couldn’t help myself, poor thing would be mortified. I chuckled a little more as I walked away before I start hearing grunts.

__

Arriving at the Winter Palace, it reminds me greatly of the Chateau Lion back in the Exalted Age, I mean it is a rebuild of the Chateau Lion just with a different name.

The inquisitor decided to bring Solas, Blackwall and Varric.

We got in and while the Inquisitor got briefed by Leliana, everyone went their separate ways to socialise and look at around the palace.

I walked up to Solas who stood by the gardens, “just like old times,” I reminisced

He smiled at me, “yes, it’s strange to be back into such an environment, but it does feel very homey.”

“I was in the game for a while and got pretty good at it, but you know, it never turns out well.”

Solas nodded, “your name must be long forgotten by now.”

“You’d think, it’s been a few centuries, but there is one family in particular looking out for the name I used. I heard them use it a few times, bragging about how they took me out.”

Solas laughed, “How did this family take you out?”

“Well they think they scared me off by killing one of my closest friends, but it wasn’t necessarily the case. Once that happened I learnt the game wasn’t worth any form of death and I stopped.”

Solas looked at me with sympathy, “you should tell me about your adventures while we’ve been apart one day.”

I smiled, “yeah, one day. Anyways, I’m going to go check up on Cullen, have fun.”

Solas waved me off.

Cullen was surrounded by a group of women asking him to dance and flirting with him. I chuckled a little bit at the sight. He looked terribly uncomfortable.

I walked up to the group, past the women and into the front row, “oh Cullen, would you never dance with a girl like I?”

He glared at me, “don’t you start.”

I rolled my eyes, came up close to him, “dance with me.”

His face turned red, “uh.. maybe after this whole ordeal is over.”

I took a step away from him and shrugged, “okay, have fun with these girls.”

“Wait, you’re not going to help?”

“I need to find a dance partner.”

I heard a complaint noise coming from Cullen, “fine, one dance then stay by me, I will go insane otherwise.”

I smiled, “you have a deal.”

I walked up to him and held on to his elbow, “just so you know,” he whispered into my ear, “I can’t dance, we templars don’t really dance.”

I chuckled, “it’s okay it’s been a while for me but I’m sure you know the basics.”

I looked up at him in excitement. It really has been a while since I have properly danced. He looked down at me and went a light shade of pink and rolled his eyes.

We got down on the dance floor and he bowed as I curtsied. He took my hand and I followed him around. We swished and swayed around the dance floor. He brought me close, “you’re very graceful.”

“Am I? I’m not usually.”

He smiled, “you know that’s a lie.”

He seemed so much more confident here, maybe it was the atmosphere. I purposely decided to stop sensing others feelings for tonight, because there is always so much hurt and deceit. So judging what Cullen felt was left up to my other senses.

I gasped shockingly, “Cullen, are you calling me liar?” I look at him wide eyed and jokingly offended.

He chuckled a little, “you’re always graceful, the way you hold yourself.”

I bit my lip softly, he is being super cute right now, “it what my mother pushed into me, I remember her voice in my head, ‘you can’t go to that the way you stand around looking like some common thug’.” I mimicked Mythal’s voice.

Cullen laughed, “come, let’s go grab a drink and we can talk more.”

“Mmm sounds perfect.”

We made our way to the bar and grabbed a glass of some fancy form of alcohol and we left the main crowd and went to the gardens.

“You know, I’ve realised that I don’t know much about you.” Cullen looked at me with curiosity.

I can’t lie to him. He’s going to ask about my past. I felt my heart go up into my throat. I cleared it, “ah, well, there’s not much to say about me.”

“Well, it’s not about you, because I feel like I know you, but your past, I know nothing other than Solas was in there somewhere.”

I felt scared maybe anxious about it. “Yeah I mean you kind of summed it up.”

“It must have been eventful, wondering the wilderness.”

I looked to the ground, “yeah, I mean I’ve had my struggles just as anyone has, but to be honest, if those struggles hadn’t come to pass then I wouldn’t be living the life I am. Maybe it would be better but people especially me can’t think like that.” Shit I just let the inner Isalana out, the one that is meant to be masked by Sage.

Cullen grabbed my hand, “well you know, if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” I wanted to grab his face to kiss it until we heard a couple of shrieks which had successfully stopped me in my path.

“Shit,” I heard Cullen say. We ran into the ballroom and saw the Inquisitor poked the Duchess as the assassin. The room was full of wails and whispers. The Duchess confessed to her planned crime and was about to be sent away, but then she called up, “Isalana! Isalana!”I felt the blood rush out of my face, “He sees you. The Elder One knows you are watching, and he knows all about you and that dog you wish to hold so much.” Anger rose in me. How dare they threaten the people I hold most dear, they can threaten me all they like, but not my friends especially not..

“Sage?” Cullen tapped my on my shoulder, I quickly turned to him. I unclenched my jaw and relaxed. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine Cullen.”

Then I walked away.

__

I found Florianne in the dungeons below the Winter Palace. I covered my face and body with a dark sheet I found on my way.

“Hello Duchess.”

Florianne turned to me, “I was expecting you’d be around your little dog.”

I ignored her insult, “tell me everything.”

She laughed at me, “I don’t know a thing.”

I pushed pain onto the woman. She whined like a pig. “Tell me everything.”

She was on the ground clutching her body. She chuckled through her moans of pain, “I know nothing.”

I clenched my jaw and unleashed more pain onto her. She began to scream and yell. I bash my hand on the jail cell bars, “tell me or I will kill you!”

I stopped the pain, “kill me, I want to be at the side of my master.”

“Your master will die.”

“Gods can’t die.”

“Well he’s not a god.”

“And you are?”

The question hit me, am I considered a god? Florianne continued to stall me, “you’ve lived forever not once have you died.”

“Shut up.” Then I killed Florianne.

__

Back at Skyhold I was greeted by a worried Cullen, followed by a worried Solas.

“Sage, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine, just tired from the trip.” I made eye contact with Solas, just to let him know I need to speak with him. Solas nodded at my signal and walked back into the throne room.

“You have had me worried, you’re a whole week late. I thought you had gotten into trouble.”

“Cullen, I can handle myself, there is no need to worry. Did you figure out what Florianne was talking about?”

Cullen looked at me strange, “uh, Leliana is looking into it, says it might have to do with the Elvhen gods, but that’s all she knows so far. She got one of her agents to talk to Florianne, but she was found dead with the cell covered with blood.”

I cringed, I really didn’t like that side of me, but it was more a message to send to this Elder One.

“Oh wow, that’s a shame really. Um excuse me Cullen, I have to talk to Solas. But please wait for me in my quarters, I want to talk to you.” I’ve decided I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him everything. And let’s see if he enjoys my company then.

I walk to Solas and he met me outside the throne room on top of the stairs.

“You heard her right?”

Solas nodded, “yes, it surprised me. But that’s not the point is it? You killed Florianne. Did she see your face?”

“No but she was useless when it comes to information. I couldn’t get anything out of her so I disposed of a possible threat.”

He sighed at me, “this isn’t like you Isalana.”

I glared at him, “not like me? It has been 2000 years since we have been around each other for long periods of time. I have killed many more people than I have saved Fen.”

He wrapped his arms around me, “we both have.”

I nuzzled into his chest, this is what I needed a hug from my lifelong friend. My brother. “Will we ever stop killing?”

“As long as there are people who want to kill us we will continue to kill.” Fen always said the most logical thing. It’s how we lived. We lived with people wanting to kill us so we would kill them. Until it came to family, when war broke out between our siblings, we didn’t want to kill either. We sat on the fence line. Then Fen locked them away. And before you know it, things went into chaos and it just hasn’t stopped. We try to save more lives but we just end up killing triple the amount.

It wasn’t a life I originally wanted to live and I don’t think Fen wanted to live that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should have some more smuttyness!! Get your thirst on!
> 
> Also remember to leave a comment on what you think!!


	7. New Things

I walk to my quarters after talking to Solas, and just as I expected I found Cullen sitting on my bed just waiting.

“Cullen. I—“

He stood up and grabbed me and planted his lips on mine. “I’m sorry but I had to.” He pulled back from me. I fell silent not knowing what to say. All thoughts left my head I was left dizzy and excited. Butterflies bashed inside my stomach.

Cullen walked past me to leave, embarrassed.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving, I’m sorry about that, it was rushed.”

“No, you can’t go.”

He looked at me, came up to me and grabbed my waist. I pushed off him gently and grabbed his falling hand.

“Sit please. I need to tell you about me before we go further.”

He looked at me worryingly. “What about you?”

“You need to know my past. Leliana is going to find out and I want you to hear it from me.”

Cullen frowned, “okay,” he seems to be quite hesitant.

I sighed, “I honestly don’t know where to start.”

“Tell me from the beginning.”

I chuckled, “it will be a long story if I start from the beginning. Ask me about my past. What do you want to know?”

“Where were you born?”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember any of my childhood as if it was washed away, I just appeared somewhere and then I was taken in by an elvhen family and they raised me from a young teen.”

“How long have you been wondering the wilds?”

“All up or just recently?”

“All up.”

“I’ve lost count, a large part of my life has been in the wilds.”

“Wait, just how old are you exactly?”

My stomach dropped the question that is the beginning of all questions. “I can’t really answer that, it depends, I would normally say 25ish maybe, but I’ve truly lost count of how old I am, I just live.” I took a deep breath and looked away from Cullen. This is getting hard already and we have just begun.

“You... You live forever and look so young... Are you a demon?”

I laughed, and looked directly at Cullen. “No, I am not.” I held his face between my hands, “and my name isn’t Sage, it’s Isalana.”

“Isalana,” Cullen repeated me, he was looking deep into my eyes. He then stopped and removed my hands from his face, “wait, that’s the one Florianne was talking about. So when she said about the dog you wanted to...”

“Yes she meant you and meant it as a threat. There are sides of me you should never see Cullen, and the side she induced I thought it would never appear but she threatened you. Of all people. And anyone who thre—“

Again Cullen’s lips were upon mine, cutting me off. I fell into his kiss, bringing it right back to him. He pushed me back on to the bed, his lips never leaving mine.

He was on top of me, I fumbled at his ties to his cape and armour while he fumbled at my clothing. He chuckled and got up and got rid of his armour and clothing, leaving nothing but his under clothes, I did the same.

He turned to look at me, surprised to see me in my under clothes he just stared at me taking in the view. He got rid of his under shirt, and got back on top of me and began to kiss my lips. His tongue slipped into my mouth taking in my taste. I touch down his chest and back up to his head and held him close.

He pushed my legs open and got between them. Lifted me up on his lap as he undid my straps off my under shirt. It fell from my torso and he cupped my breasts amazed by them. I felt his bulge grow harder and larger. I begin to grind myself against him. I want him.

He moaned, and placed me on the bed, he was so gentle with me. He kissed my neck. This was something I have never experienced. “Cullen,” I moan. He moaned back as he began to kiss down my body, savouring every kiss like it was his last. He would stay and just enjoy touching me.

He would grab my breasts, my sides and my ass as he would slowly creep down to my vagina. I felt his lips touch my thigh. I ran my hand through his hair coaxing him to move just that inch to my wet. He chuckled a little and kissed back up to my neck.

With our under clothes still on he removed the rest of his under clothes, I sat up to meet him. I kissed his lips and began to kiss down his body.

My turn to be a tease.

I held on to his length with one of my hands and softly and slowly begin to rub him down. I get to his abs and reached his belly button. I moved from there to his hips at which he bucked under my tease. He held my hand tighter around his hardened member. He moaned at the unfamiliar touch. I got moved my mouth closer to his testicles and touch my tongue on the side. He gasped and I moved away.

“Wha—“ I brought him down upon me. Removed the rest of my under clothes from beneath him and tease his dick with the wet pouring out of me. He followed me, and continued to tease each other, so close but not close enough. He angled himself that allowed the tip of him to enter into me. I gasped at his width and he with my tightness. He pushed further into me slowly, feeling every inch of me.

“Oh Maker,” I heard him moan under his breath. He began to move faster within me. I move my legs around his waist bringing them as high as I can without having to hold them in place and let him move deeper into me. He gasped at how deep he could be within me.

“Cullen,” I say under my breath.

“Yes?”

“Faster, fuck me faster.”

He puts his hands underneath me and lifts my hips up towards him and begins to fuck me faster and harder. Really working my clit and hitting the perfect spot I begin to get close.

“Shit, I’m getting close.” I moan into his ear. He holds on to my shoulder with his teeth gently making his attempt to make me orgasm.

“You’re getting tighter. I won’t be able to hold myself for much longer.”

He picked up his pace making my orgasm begin to flow through me, “CULLEN!” I scream his name as it rushes over me. He bites a little harder as his orgasm rushed through.

He stays on top, not slipping out yet. We relax. The pressure of his body makes me comfortable. I feel like going to sleep right then and there.

“Isalana,” he sounds awkward saying me name.

“Yes?” I pick up his face and bring it to mine.

“Will you be mine?”

I chuckled, “there is no doubt about it, I am yours Cullen.”

I bring my lips up to him and give all my emotion through it, the excitement, the intimacy, the lust, the... love.

He rolls off of me and faces me. “So this elvhen family that raised you, was that in Elvhenan?”

I smiled, “practically every elf was living in Elvhanan, I was living in Arlathan, the Capitol.”

“Arlathan? Was the family you grew up with well known?”

“You could say that.”

“Would we know them today?”

I chuckled, “it depends who you ask. The Dalish most definitely know of us, but information has been lost to the ages. But they are general knowledge, just not our names.”

“Wait the gods? The elvhen gods?”

I nodded, “yeah, I was lucky enough to be taken in by Mythal and became a part of the family. You’d think a shemlem in the elvhen pantheon, what a scandal, but I wasn’t really a part of the ‘quick people’, so they called me the goddess with no ears.”

Cullen chuckled and traced my ears, “you have plenty enough ear I think.”

I blushed slightly, “I’ve always hated them for that fact but I’m old enough now to not let it bother me, plus no one calls me a no ear anymore thank goodness.”

“You would be a couple thousand years old then right?”

“Probably, like I said, I don’t really know, but it sounds right.”

“What about Solas? Didn’t you say that you grew up with him?”

 _Oh yeah, time to lie,_ “oh yeah, nah that’s just to keep what I am a secret, we travelled together for a few years and became close friends and when he found out about me, you could imagine his reaction.”

Cullen nodded, “he would have been excited in the least.”

I laughed, “yes he was.”

* * *

 

Josephine squealed when she saw me, actually squealed.

“You and the Commander huh? Finally a thing.”

I rolled my eyes, “yes we are Josey, honestly thanks to you if you didn’t push Cullen...”

“Oh yes I know,” she put on a voice in which you’d talk to a baby, “but you two are so cute!! Yes you are!”

I sighed, “okay, you can stop.”

She squealed one more time and walked away. I smiled. She really did want us together bad.

Since that night, I would notice Cullen look at me with a completely different look, it wasn’t the infatuated Commander anymore it was a flirty ‘come over here’ kind of look. He just had so much more confidence around me and that’s what I liked about him. Though he still blushes and looks to the ground when I smile at him.

Solas had noticed our relationship and said he was happy for me, but reminded me to ‘not to forget my original purpose here’. I told him ‘of course not’ and left him in his thoughts. He still thinks he needs to fix this by himself. I feel like he will never learn. The best I can do is offer and I have more sway in this than he understands. It is my family too.

Leliana had found out that Isalana is a forgotten goddess of the elvhen pantheon, but not much else. Cullen had come to me on multiple occasions to go to Leliana about it all. But she will find me out soon enough. If she had good spies and a good memory, she would have remembered Solas calling that out to me. But we will see. That is Solas’ mistake and the reason I had to tell Cullen about me.

But we will see how this pans out.


	8. Family Reunions

I waited by the gates for Solas’ return. They had gone to Mythal’s temple. Solas went along with the group the Inquisitor took.

He stormed in all by himself. I raced after him, “Solas!” He looked back at me and waited until I was closer.

“You know what she did?!” He was furious.

“No?”

“She completely disrespected her and the elvhen within! She...”

I sighed, “She made her own way through?”

“Yes! How could she just... ARGH.” He rubbed his temples, “th-there were elvhen in there Isalana, elvhen. Sleeping there protecting... And she killed them all and that witch, so thirsty for knowledge it leaves no room for conscience.”

I gave Fen a concerned look, “Morrigan?”

“Yes, that witch doesn’t know what she has done.”

“You realise who she is right?” I put my hand on Fen’s arm.

“No, I do not.”

“Flemeth’s daughter.”

Solas looked at me with surprise, “Flemeth? But isn’t that...”

“Yep.”

“And she doesn’t know?”

“She doesn’t have the slightest idea. That should make you feel better.”

He shrugged off my hand from his arm, “slightly, but it still doesn’t make up the fact that the Inquisitor decided to kill all the elvhen in the temple. It was meant for a place of peace and she comes in and decides to ruin it, leaving it desecrated.”

“I knew the Inquisitor wasn’t the kind of person to respect things but I will agree that this was definitely uncalled for. Would you like me to speak with her about it?”

Solas glared at me, “you think a barbarian like her is going to listen to reason?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, I can be pretty persuasive.”

“What’s done is done.”

He turned around and left for his study.

“And Solas, we...”

“Don’t.”

I frowned as I watch Solas move up the stairs and into the throne room. I sighed and left to my own quarters.

* * *

 

Once I arrived I felt a presence inside, “who’s there?”

“Sage,” I was greeted by the spymaster.

I lit the candles around my room, “do you like hiding in the dark?”

“Only when I want something.”

“How very forward of you.”

She chuckled, “yes quite. Is there anything you need to tell me?”

I thought for a moment, _well I guess she is here about myself_ , “like something you don’t know?”

“No, something more along the lines of conformation.”

“Conformation of what exactly?”

“Isalana. Is that you?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Oh,” Leliana seemed to have paused for a moment, “I didn’t think this would go so swiftly, why did the Duchess yell out to you? How did they know about you?”

I shrugged, “not entirely sure how they know about me, all I know is that I tried to track something in the Fade and I found a blockade kind of thing that refused me entry and I think they got the information at that time, no idea how.”

Leliana frowned, “can you get around it?”

“That’s what I’ve been working on.” I rolled my eyes, if I received a copper for every time Solas or someone has reminded me to get onto the blockade then I could live rich for my entire lifetime..

“Can Solas help?”

I nodded, “yeah he is, we have been theorising things but it just doesn’t make sense that they could get a blockade in the Fade. I mean it reminds me of tranquil. Like he has been disconnected from the Fade but that doesn’t make sense considering he wants to get there.”

“So you can’t feel tranquil?”

I felt a slight sadness come over me, “there’s nothing to feel, so no, I don’t.”

Leliana nodded, “of course, what do you know of Corypheus?”

I rolled my eyes, “Maker, that was back at the First Blight, it was the Grey Wardens problem, I remember hearing rumours but that was most of it and I investigated a little but once I learned what they were planning I pulled my nose right out of their business.”

Leliana frowned, “what were they planning?”

“They were planning on making Corypheus a weapon against the darkspawn but when they learnt of his unusual ability to control Wardens they decided he needed to stay locked up for good. And for a millennium he has been until, you know, now.”

I walk to my bed and sat upon it, “so you knew that Corypheus can control Wardens?”

“Yeah I guess so, I mean, I’ve never thought about it, it was just on some whim that I found out what I did, so I forgot he could. That’s what I’m trying to say, I forgot about it.”

“But that kind of information is important.”

“I’m sorry I have a few millennium worth of knowledge stuck in my tiny head and I couldn’t remember something which was not quite 2 weeks of my life.”

Leliana sighed, “I don’t think I’m going to get used to you being so old, which reminds me, did you actually grow up with Solas?”

I chuckled, “nah that’s just a cover, we travelled for a little while and it’s just a deal we made considering telling everyone I’m part of the pantheon isn’t on my to do list.”

Leliana came up in front of me and looked at me directly in my eyes, “since you exist, does the Maker not?”

“Why should my existence deny His?”

Leliana nodded at my response, “yes I suppose, but do you believe in the Maker?”

“I guess so, I mean, to have someone beyond me looking down and taking care as I wonder around Thedas would be nice. But I don’t definitely know, there is faith in me somewhere.”

She chuckled, “the elvhen goddess has faith in the Maker.”

“What’s so wrong about there being both?”

Leliana shrugged, “I don’t know, I have one more question.”

“Go on.” I was weary but surely it couldn’t be that bad.

“With all your time in Thedas, why haven’t you slept?”

“Oh,” I was a little shocked at the question, “well, I enjoy watching this world grow, when my people became bored of life they would sleep, I have yet to become bored. I’ve had many down and many ups but watching the world grow is something I enjoy immensely.”

Leliana nodded, “well if I need any advice I will come back to you, the Inquisitor will want to know about you.”

“I’m sure she will.”

Leliana left the room gracefully and I was left in my thoughts.

 _I best not become a grandmother to these people who seems to have all the answers because I will tell them one thing I most definitely do not._ I sighed and laid upon my bed.

* * *

 

Solas was working intensely at his desk, “hey, I think I might want to try something when it comes to that blockade.”

Solas frowned, “what is that exactly?”

“I was talking to Leliana and I brought up a point I hadn’t thought of.”

“Which was?”

“He feels like a tranquil, but he can’t be completely because he can still use magic, so what if he has used a similar magic to put in a faux disconnection and kind of tricked the Fade?”

Solas thought for a long moment, “is that possible?”

I shrugged, “during my time, I have seen a lot of impossible, so it would be naive not to think of something considered impossible to be possible.”

Solas nodded, “okay, so what do you suggest we can do to get rid of it?”

“By using the ritual to reverse tranquillity.”

“And you know how?”

“Oh brother, I have lived through the making of the Seekers and plus Cassandra received the Seeker manual. It has the ritual within it. We just need to call upon the spirits of faith.”

Solas ears twitched slightly, oh he was excited. “Of faith?”

“Yeah, we might have to call upon wisdom also to advise a little.”

Solas stood to prepare the potions, “when do you want to do this?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay give me a few hours and I will have the potions ready to drink.”

I nodded and left Solas to his ritual.

* * *

 

I walked to the gardens and I heard a yell from the room with the Eluvian, “KIERAN!”

My stomach dropped, I ran to the room and saw Leliana standing by it calling out to Morrigan.

“What’s happened?”

“Morrigan ran into the Eluvian calling out to Kieran.”

I felt my way through the mirror and felt multiple presences. My eyes lit up as I realised who it was on the other side.

I walked straight through, “go get the Inquisitor,” I told Leliana.

I found Morrigan frantically walking back and forth, “who are you?” she glared at me.

“Isalana, I’m here to help you find Kieran.”

“Isalana? I’ve heard that name.”

“You were quite young when you would have heard my name, but let’s find Kieran.”

We walk through the Fade and I felt for Kieran, it was a lot easier to track him here rather than from the waking world.

I walked in front of Morrigan leading her through the Fade.

We came to a halt as we saw Flemeth by Kieran’s side. “Mother,” I heard Morrigan sourly say.

“Oh hello daughter,” Flemeth looked at Morrigan and then to me, “and Isalana, what a surprise.”

“It’s been a while mother.” Morrigan looked at me shockingly.

“Mother? She is also your mother?”

I smiled at Morrigan, “close enough to it.”

“Did you receive my letter?”

I nodded, “yes, I have been keeping an eye out, and trying to lead him on a more secure path, but you know how he is.”

Flemeth nodded, “yes, I surely do.”

“Mother..” Kieran’s sweet voice popped us out of our own conversation.

“What do you want with Kieran?” I asked.

“He has an old soul, surely you must know.”

I nodded, “of course but why?”

“You should stop asking questions love.” I frowned at mother’s answer, what did she plan?

“Give him back to me!” Morrigan was furious but also scared.

“Now, now Morrigan,”

The inquisitor ran up to us. “Who is this?”

“I am Flemeth, Inquisitor.”

“Wait you’re the witch of the wilds?”

“Yes.”

Morrigan went to attack Flemeth, “child you can stop that now.” Morrigan suddenly went submissive and stopped her attack.

“What? How can you..?”

“You drank from the Well Morrigan.” I noted.

She looked completely shocked, “you’re Mythal? After all this time, I never knew.”

Flemeth rolled her eyes, “yes my dear daughter, there are a lot of things you don’t know, anyway young Kieran, what were we doing? Oh yes.”

“Mother!” Flemeth looked to Morrigan, “take what you must but please give Kieran back to me, he is my son.”

Flemeth looked to Kieran then to Morrigan, she glanced quickly towards me, “fine.” She collected the Old God soul from Kieran and gave him back to Morrigan.

“No more dreams?” He asked.

“No more dreams grandson.” She handed him to Morrigan, allowing them to leave.

The Inquisitor followed Morrigan out of the Fade with a million questions. Leaving just Flemeth and I alone.

“Mother...”

“Don’t Isalana, you have your job.”

“Will you come visit us? Or at least come and see Fen’Harel.”

“It will happen in time.”

I sighed, I went up to Flemeth and gave her a hug, “we miss you. We miss everyone.”

She returned the hug, “I know child, just watch your brother.” I nodded against her shoulder.

“Goodbye Mother.”

“Safe journey Isalana.”

* * *

 

I was met by Solas, “mother?”

“Mother.”

He frowned, “what did she say?”

“Nothing, I asked if she will visit, she said ‘soon’ so maybe in another couple hundred years.” I chuckled.

“Well the potion is ready if you want to go in.”

“I’m ready.”

Let’s get this started.


	9. Chapter 9

Solas and I laid down by each other in my quarters, we held each other’s hand. And fell asleep together.

* * *

 

_I opened my eyes to be found in the Fade. I noticed my appearance, more like my present looked, with tan skin and short nails, my clothes were earthy and suitable for travel._

_I looked to Fen’Harel and he was like himself, in that cream sweater and green pants._

_I took in a deep breath of the Fade and made focused my ability to find the blockade once again. I felt from the each corner of the Fade I was able to touch and eventually I felt a painful stab in my stomach._

_“I found it.”_

_Fen nodded and took my arm as we sped through the Fade and found the spot where it was most painful, I looked to Fen and he rested._

_We prepared to call in the spirits, I wasn’t able to concentrate properly so I left it up to Fen to call upon them._

_He mumbled a chant that brought forward 2 faith spirits and 1 wisdom spirit._

_I greeted them and we began to get to work, even though the faith spirit was supposed to be made to possess the tranquil we decided its presence is more needed as we don’t want to create a demon from it. They happily wanted to help us fix the problem as they wish the tears in Veil be closed completely._

_I tried to not pay attention to the pain that bothered my gut and I sat in front of Fen’Harel. We closed our eyes, held hands and chanted the ritual words. Words that were long forgotten. I felt faith hold on to me and the other faith hold on to Fen._

_We mumbled for what felt like hours getting this blockade off of Corypheus._

_I suddenly felt a rush of energy which I identified was rage. So much anger had piled upon this monster._

_“Fen’Harel.” He stopped chanting once he heard his name, he looked to me. “It’s gone. The blockade has gone.”_

_He hugged me, “we did well.” I hugged him back._

_“I’m glad this worked.”_

_“What do you feel?”_

_“He is angry, the Inquisitor has angered him beyond anything I’ve seen. He won’t stay still. I think he might attack directly.”_

_“Directly?”_

_“Yes but not at Skyhold... The Breach.”_

_Fen’Harel’s eyes widened, “what is he going to do?”_

_“Open it or try to.”_

_We released each other and stood up. We gave a nod to each other, thanked the spirits and left the Fade._

* * *

 

Upon waking up I found myself leaning against Fen, “I thought we weren’t meant to move while sleeping with potion?”

Fen sat up as I rolled off of him, “you’re not supposed to.”

I shrugged and jumped off the bed and ran out the door to see a pacing Cullen.

“Isalana...” His eyes widened at the sight of Solas, I felt anger and... jealousy?

I rolled my eyes, “we went to the Fade Cullen, please don’t get like this.”

“But I saw you in bed with him.”

“Yes because the connection is stronger when we sleep in close proximity, please don’t assume that I’m a whore.”

“I—I didn’t mean it like that.” Cullen suddenly felt guilty.

“Just because I have lived for a couple thousand years doesn’t mean I don’t have any control or any sense of friendship with the opposite sex.”

Solas snickered.

I glared at him, “don’t you dare say a word, go to the Inquisitor and tell her what we found.” Solas weaved past Cullen and I.

“Good luck,” he whispered to Cullen and left us alone.

Cullen and I stood in silence for quite a while, just staring each other done. Before long he just came close to me, “Look I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

I nodded, “that’s right you shouldn’t.”

“Are you not sorry?”

I shook my head, “what do I have to be sorry about?”

“The fact that you slept in the same bed with Solas.”

I chuckled, “what? You think I would go back to that?”

“Go back?!”

 _Shit I just messed up_ I thought to myself.

“Yes go back, Solas and I have a long history, you know this. But we aren’t that anymore and haven’t been for over a decade. I don’t even know why I have to explain myself to you. I’m like 3000 years old and do you expect me to be a virgin for all of it.”

“Oh I knew you weren’t a virgin.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“No—It,” Cullen sighed, “it wasn’t a bad thing. I was just saying that you’re really good. Like you’ve had plenty of practice.”

“You make it sound like I’m some kind of whore.”

He took my hands, “I don’t mean to.”

His blue eyes penetrated my anger which made me want to be angrier but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. He kissed my lips and I kissed right back.

“Now what did you find in the Fade?”

* * *

 

Cullen and I strode up to the throne room and met with the Inquisitor. Solas was by her side, she looked towards me with what could only be the look of the desire to kill or maybe revenge.

“Solas has updated me on the status of Corepheus, Morrigan has also confirmed that the voices said that Corypheus won’t hide. And you say that he will attack the Breach?”

“Yes Inquisitor, I believe he will do something to it. I suspect he plans to open it again.”

Suddenly the earth shook beneath us and we looked out the window.

“Shit,” I heard the Inquisitor say, she ran grabbed Solas, Cassandra and Varric and told them to gear up. I walked over to Solas as he placed on his light armour and grabbed his staff.

I hugged him, “be careful brother.”

He kissed me on the forehead, “I don’t go down easy.” I smiled and let him go on his way.

I walked over to Cullen, “come we can help.”

“We don’t have the soldiers.”

I grabbed his hand, “my love, we can help.” I grabbed my daggers and hid them underneath my coat. I walked over and grabbed a staff from the armoury. Cullen followed and stopped me.

“The Inquisitor can handle it.”

I looked to the skies and saw the Breach expanding at an increased rate.

I placed down my staff and looked to Cullen. I placed his head between my hands and kissed him deeply, “I’m sure she can, I’m sure they all can. But I’m worried about—“ I stopped myself before I could say anymore.

“Solas?”

I sighed, “yeah Solas, he seems capable but I worry about him.”

Cullen nodded, “You worry about him too much.”

I chuckled, “I know, but he is like a brother to me. Someone has to look out for him.”

Cullen sighed and gave in, “fine take your stick, go get them.”

I grabbed my staff and ran out of the armoury.

I ran after the Inquisitor and her party.

* * *

 

Halfway to the Breach I noticed another ground shake and an entire piece of the earth went up into the sky towards the Breach, I heard Corypheus’ voice in my head, “I knew the Inquisitor would come.”

I ran harder, as hard as I could. I got to Scout Harding as she was on the ground, “Harding!” I said breathlessly.

“Isalana, they’ve gone up I was just too late to hop on.”

I looked up and grimaced at the sight. Things didn’t look so good.

I felt a stab of pain in my belly, “argh!” I fell to the ground, “anger so much of it, he is angry, he won’t forgive them. It was left empty and he felt betrayed.”

Harding came to my side and helped me to my feet, well as good as any dwarf can.

I looked one more time at the floating islands and felt unable to do any good so I began to make my way back to Skyhold with Harding.

“What were my people back when you were, you know, young?” Harding asked.

I laughed a little, “is that the only question you have for me?”

She shrugged, “well yeah, it’s what we all want to know. Like if our ancestors were as great as what we think.”

“They were stubborn creatures.”

Harding chuckled, “still are.”

“Yes surprisingly the stereotype of each race hasn’t changed too much, mainly the elves that had to change their way of life.”

Harding nodded in agreement and we continued our short walk back in silence.

* * *

 

Cullen came up to me, “what happened?”

“See that giant floating island there?”

Cullen looked at to where I was pointing and nodded, “yes?”

“That’s where the Inquisitor is.”

He looked at me in disbelief, “who else?”

“The team, Harding and I returned along with a couple of other soldiers.”

Cullen exhaled harshly, “well let’s hope all turns out well.”

I frowned it’s going to be a long wait until the Inquisitor returns.

Cullen and I sat in the throne room waiting. We held each other.

Suddenly a huge crack was heard we all stood up and went outside to look at the Breach. Things began to fall.

We all began to ran again towards the Breach, we were met by crumbling rocks and a surprisingly slow moving crash of the larger island. As soon as the crumbling stopped the Inquisitor rose from the rubble. I ran up, pushed past the Inquisitor and went to look for Solas. I saw him by a broken thing.

I gasped as I realised that it was the orb. “Fen!” He looked back to me, hopelessness grew in him. I felt my stomach rise into my throat. I ran up to him, looked him in his blue eyes, “Fen’Harel listen to me, we will fix this.”

“No.” He pushed me off him.

“No?” I frowned.

“This is my fault, I will fix it.”

I looked at him with sadness, “Fen please. It’s...”

“It’s my fault.” He became angry with me and begun to walk away from me. “Enjoy your pretend life with Cullen.”

Now it was my turn to become angry with him, “Fen! How dare you even suggest that what I’m doing is an act! Why do you think I’m doing this? To forget about our family? What is your problem?”

He continued to walk away not saying anything, “Fen... Please don’t leave it like this.”

He gave a quick glance back and continued onwards.

I sighed and slumped back to the group.

* * *

 

Back at Skyhold we began to celebrate the victory that the Inquisitor accomplished. Leliana came up to me. “There is no evidence of Solas to be found anywhere, he has disappeared.”

“He has always been good at that,” I said wearily, “but it would be worth to have a look for him.”

Leliana nodded and walked into the party, probably leaving it at the back of her mind to send out scouts.

Cullen came up behind me and grabbed my waist. “Come with me.”

“We can’t just leave the Inquisitor’s party.”

“The Inquisitor did,” he whispered.

I looked around and noticed that the Inquisitor has decided to leave her own party.

“Wow, she’s sneaky, I had no idea.”

He chuckled, “yes, let’s get out of here.”

Cullen grabbed my hand and led me to the gardens.

“Do you remember?” Cullen asked.

I looked at him in surprise. “How could I forget?” I looked at the flowers the ones the glowed in the moonlight. Cullen caught my attention with his hands on my waist. He spun me around towards him and pulled me in to him. I chuckled, “I don’t remember that night going like this.”

He smiled, I felt his breath against my lips, “I wished it had.”

He brought his lips upon mine and I deepened it. Pressing further into him.

I pulled away from him, “here?” I questioned, “right in front of the eyes of Andraste?”

He looked at me with disappointment, “fine let’s go to my bed.”

We reached his quarters, yet something had changed about him.

“Cullen is everything alright?”

He looked at me, “what will happen now?”

The question hit me a bit, I was to move on and find Fen’Harel. He would be about almost anywhere and I had to find him. But the thought of leaving Cullen had hit me harder than expected. Of course I would come back and write regularly but it still meant leaving him.

“I—I don’t know.”

He looked at me with concern, “don’t you normally leave at these times?”

I nodded, I wasn’t going to hold information or lie, “yes, and I probably will. I need to find someone. Mythal had told me to look out for someone the last time she visited. And it’s with good cause.” I still couldn’t believe he ran off like that.

“So what about us?”

I looked directly at Cullen, he looked so upset and the way he was talking made it seem like I had no intention of keep us a thing.

“You and I are never going be anything else other than us.” He seemed slightly relieved with that response.

“Good.” He came up to me, most of his concern washed away by simple words.

We began to kiss again, this time with more force; more knowledge of each other’s likes and dislikes made this an easier task. He removed his armour effortlessly as I stripped to my smalls.

I felt something dig into my chest, I kicked Cullen off me with such force he fell to the ground. I rolled off the bed, I was yelling, screaming in pain. Cullen tried to comfort me but I had no idea what was going on in front of me. My vision was a blurred and the sound muffled.

I crawled along the floor, trying to get up but was brought back down by an invisible force. I saw a vision of Flemeth dead in Fen’Harel’s arms.

“Fen’Harel what have you done?!”

Everything began to clear. Cullen looked at me horrified, I checked my body only to see blood coming from scratches on my chest.

“Shit, I’m sorry Cullen.”

“What in Andraste just happened? You were screaming, saying things.”

“What was I saying?”

“Fen’Harel I think, you were screaming so loud.”

I heard knocks on the door, Cullen answered them and Josephine and Leliana came through the door along with Iron Bull following behind.

“Oh Sage!” Josephine came up to me and helped me up. She gasped at the marks on my chest, “Bull would you please go get a healer?” Josephine ordered Bull and he complied.

Leliana grabbed my gown and I placed it loosely over my body.

“Guys you don’t have to do this. I’m fine really.”

“What happened?” Leliana was the first to ask.

“I just had a vision of my brother, and he has done something. I don’t know what but I need to find him.”

Leliana clicked, “oh, Fen’Harel. That’s the god that locked his family away.”

I sighed, “yeah something like that. He doesn’t have a good record for making things right. But he tries so hard. He just doesn’t realise he needs help.” Trying to justify his actions won’t really matter to them.

Cullen still looked at me wearily worried more than anything. He came up to me and hugged me, “you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine I promise.”

What has he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last of this fan fiction. And probably the universes canon wise will be the latest in the whole series until we find out what actually happens to Solas in the game and I will adapt it into this.
> 
> Stupid Solas.
> 
> \--EDIT-- sorry about the last chapter taking so long my laptop isn't the best and is being the greatest butt ever seen. But I hope to be able to finish and post the last chapter soon ( ^ω^ )


	10. Chapter 10

I began to pack my things into a small satchel. Enough rations to last me a fortnight, an extra set of clothing, and a book that Dorian had suggested to read.

I neatened up my room. Cullen interrupted my processes. “You don’t have to go.”

I looked into his sad blue eyes, “I wish I didn’t, but I really do have to.”

He grabbed me and turned me around to face him, “what did your brother do exactly?”

“He has done a lot of things. You’ve heard the story of the Elvhen gods? How they’ve been locked away for ages upon ages. And it’s true, they’ve been locked away and my brother did it. But his intentions were good, I just wished he consulted me about it first. In my vision he was holding Mythal in his arms as if she was dead.”

Cullen didn’t really seem to understand the extent of Fen’Harel’s actions, I mean if he hadn’t of done what he did, things probably wouldn’t have been better. There was fighting going on in the family and things weren’t going so good. And Fen just thought he was ending that.

“So this Fen’Harel, is the Dread Wolf.”

“Well his name translates to that, so yes.”

“Does your name translate into anything?”

I smiled, “yeah, technically Isalana means ‘in need of you’.”

“I don’t think I will be calling you that any time soon.”

I pushed off Cullen’s chest, “now let me pack before it gets dark, I’m leaving early tomorrow.”

Cullen reluctantly let me go. “Fine, but please spend the night with me tonight.”

I chuckled, “no I’m going to spend it all alone because no one loves me.” I hoped he caught on to the sarcasm, he was terrible at picking up on it.

He smiled, “now now, no need to be like that.” He placed a gentle kiss upon my lips, “so I’ll definitely see you later?”

“Yes.”

I waved him off as he left my quarters.

I checked one last time the things I have in my satchel. A fortnight worth of rations, the book, and clothes. It looked all good. I left it neatly by my bed. I looked outside and notice it was almost sunset.

__

I walked to the tavern and noticed Bull and Dorian openly flirting. I smiled at them, they waved me over.

“Ayyyy, hey Isa!” Dorian has seemed to be a little drunk already.

I look to bull and he just shrugs and grabbed his boyfriend and planted a kiss on his lips. “You guys want a drink on me?” I suggested.

Bull and Dorian cheer as I go up to the bar maid and asked for 3 pints of their finest ale and brought them to the couple.

We grabbed the pints firmly and Dorian yells out, “I’M NOT SPILLING THIS ONE. AND SAFE TRAVELS!”

Bull and I chuckled at Dorian’s slightly emotional face, we clunked our pints together spilling just the top of our drinks. Dorian looked really sad that he had spilled his drink but began to scull it anyways.

After my pint and watching Dorian fall all over Bull (which I’m pretty sure it was on purpose, I made my way to Cullen’s quarters.

* * *

 

Cullen sat on his bed waiting for me. He looked as I walked into his quarters. Cullen quickly stood up and walked to me. He grabbed my waist and looked me steady in the eye. He broke the eye contact for a brief second before taking a breath and looking at directly in my eyes, switching between the two. We stood in silence just staring into each other.

I thought about everything he could see in me. Could he see my age within me? Could he see the old soul that lies within my body? Could he see the past? But could he the bad past or the good?

I could see the pain of his past. Maybe the pain of the future, or the unknown pain of what our separation will bring. I saw the good memories of fellow templars and family. The memories that we had created just in these past months, still fresh in his mind. It will be sad to feel him slowly forget as the memories become nothing more than dreams then just a haze.

I pushed into his embrace, allowing him to feel my body for the last time in maybe a long time.

Who knows how long it will take to find Solas, it could be a millennium, but I doubt he will stay out of my grasp for too long. Hopefully less than a decade, so I can get back to where I belong.

I wonder about Cullen’s doubts and his worries. His hopes and his dreams. I want to know what he wants our future to look like. Is he afraid of what will happen when he grows old? I want to ask everything that popped into my head. But the silence was so comforting I didn’t want disrupt it.

He lifted my head up to his and landed his lips upon mine. We kiss deeply, savouring the taste of each other. His rough hands brushed against my cheek and sat on the back of my head pushing our kiss deeper. I felt his face scrunch up, possibly annoyed that we can’t get our bodies any closer, or maybe that he was angry of my soon to be departure.

I pull away, his hand drops from my head and lands upon my arm. He slowly strokes it.

“Isalana.” He sighed.

“Hush now. You know this isn’t the last time.”

Cullen closed his eyes, “I just want you to come back already.”

An emotion built up within him, I hugged Cullen tight. “My love, I haven’t yet left.”

We released each other, undressed and laid in the bed.

His arms immediately took me and brought me close, pressing up against each other. This wasn’t a night to release tension or to give out our love in a sexual form. But to feel our aura, show our love through the affection and the closeness we wish to be. To have our dreams mixed within each other was something we both wanted so bad. But the Fade decided to put us a world apart. I wanted to help through his nightmares but I couldn’t travel within the Fade like my brother.

We slowly drifted off into a relaxing sleep.

* * *

 

_I awoke in a forest, I looked around and things began to change, then I realised I was in the Fade._

_Fen’Harel appeared to me in his wolf form._

_“Brother,” I nodded to him and he nodded back._

_“Is there a particular reason why you’re here?”_

_The wolf looked at me directly with his many eyes, “yes, I don’t want you to look for me.”_

_“What happened to mother?” He wasn’t leaving without an explanation._

_He broke my gaze, “I will let you know one day.”_

_“I saw her dead in your arms Fen.”_

_He snapped his head towards me. “I didn’t exactly kill our mother Isalana.”_

_I frowned, “then what?”_

_He shook his head at me, “just let me be.”_

_“No I’m coming for you, we have to stick together.”_

_Fen’Harel chuckled at me, “you’ve always been so naive.”_

_I chuckled right back, “and you’ve always been so stubborn.”_

_“I just came to tell you to leave me be, if you refuse then I have no reason to be here.”_

_I rolled my eyes, “so dramatic, give me a clue, make this fun for the both of us.” He began to walk away, “brother... Please. Don’t leave me in the dark with this.”_

_He continued to leave until his shadowy form left me alone in the forest._

_I looked to the skies at the bright sun. The Fade always made things so realistic. I imagine home, the towers of crystal that reached the clouds. It was always the one imagine I refused to forget in the many hazy memories I’ve gathered over the years._

_Home was always where I wish I could be, but was never to come back. Nothing was like home. The closest to home I got was with Cullen. He appeared behind me as I thought of him._

_I felt a tug at my waist, “hey,” he sighed into my ear. He nibbled slowly at it, I blushed and moaned quietly at his touch. I suddenly felt a harder bite. I grabbed my ear and turned to him._

_A darkness replaced Cullen and it came at me. Surprised I yelled._

* * *

 

I jerked awake suddenly, so much for a good night’s rest. I looked out of the window and noticed the pink tinge of the new sun rising from the ground. I sat up and looked to Cullen, still very much asleep. I kissed his forehead and put on my gear and left the sleeping man.

I walked to my room in the silence of fortress, only the quiet footsteps of the maids and cooks that pitter-pattered around could be heard.

I grabbed my bag that rested neatly on my bed, only to hear the sound of a dropping coin. I looked to the ground and found exactly what I heard. I picked it up and looked at it. It was Cullen’s lucky coin. I pushed it into a pocket located inside my undergarments and quickly left Skyhold.

I gave Skyhold a quick look behind me, an image I hoped not to forget. The sun rising behind the fortress was really something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will be no more until a solas DLC is released or the next game. I'm hoping to do some past stuff with Isalana (during the multiple ages) so look forward to that.
> 
> And I hope you enjoyed this fic \\(^_^)/
> 
> ♥


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